Lunch w/Mom

1st Semester (10th grade) Late 1980, early 1981

My first two hours of school as a sophomore for the first two quarters of the year I was in a career class where I was allowed to work a job and get paid minimum wage and at the same time get credit for the class. I worked at Elrod Elementary as a teacher's aide but ultimately I had wanted to be a Physical Education teacher. So one day I was allowed to go to another local elementary school and work with the PE teacher there. I think she was gay looking back but aren't they all? :)

So that morning my mom says that she wants to swing by the school and take me to lunch that day. I was psyched that mom would actually drive into town to take me to lunch. So mom comes by around 11:00 or 11:30 and I get in the car looking forward to lunch. She pulls up outside our dentist's office and I don't know of any eating places nearby but figure we will walk there. Instead we walk into the building where our dentist's office is and walk up to the 2nd floor and at the top of the stairs - instead of turning right down the hall we stop!

Right at the top of the stairs - angled as I remember - is a psychologist's office. RP-Psychologist (use of initials to remain slightly anonymous). Inside is a woman that looks 80 and I am told that we are there so I can be evaluated. We all sat down and did the 55 minute thing. Mom told me that it had all been decided before and that the state was paying for it. My social worker was in on it as well I guess. It was obvious to me from the very first meeting that RP had already made up her mind and my parents had already told her everything that was wrong with me so I wasn't inclined to cooperate. I was scheduled to go back every Wednesday after school.

So the 2nd time I went I was by myself and we talked a little and then I think the 3rd time she gave me some tests - I remember one was the cards with black ink spots that I had to say what it looked like. Somewhere deep inside I wanted to give really outrageous sick answers but I was scared of my future so gave very simple answers.

After that we rarely spoke, I would show up and might say hi and sometimes not. She might say hi -then I would spend 55 minutes looking at the pattern on her tile floor while she worked with her back practically towards me -and then I would leave - sometimes I said bye sometimes I didn't.

One Wednesday probably in April or May I forgot and I got on the bus to go home. While driving through town I remembered or one of my sisters reminded me or something. Well in a panic I went up to our bus driver, Ed and told him I had an appointment and I didn't even mince words concerning how important it was. Ed knew us very well because we were the last ones off the bus. Ed stopped the bus and let me off and I ran all the way to RP's office. I told Dad about it - he would pick me up at the library every Wednesday - and he yelled at me about how stupid I was. I wasn't even late but wasn't surprised by his reaction. Of course if I hadn't told him one of my sisters would have and then I probably would have received a spanking for lying or at least not telling them what happened.

I bolded this and left it in black because I still get angry at this incident. My mom out right lied to me - that is the point - lied and never apoligized never gave an excuse, never even mentioned that I didn't get lunch that day. Just didn't even care what message they were giving me.

They missed a real opportunity here to help me by who they chose, how they sprung it on me and in the collaboration of it all. There was so much to tell but it didn't come out until I was on my own and didn't have to worry about being put in some insane asylum.